Expectations

Well, I think it’s safe to say that my first week as a self-employed (or soon-to-be-self-employed-but-currently-only-getting-my-crap-together-and-trying-to-assemble-a-routine) artist-type person has not gone precisely as I anticipated. I think it’s largely due to the enormous walking boot that has taken up residence on my left foot, and for which I don’t even have a really good story. It’s honestly just that I was walking down a hallway and one step I was fine, and the next was agony.

So instead of getting up every morning and spending a good hour or two chipping away at housekeeping chores and projects before spending the day in the studio, I am struggling to get up and around and bathed and dressed and whatever basic stuff is part of the morning. As a result – and because it’s up a set of spiral stairs – I haven’t spent a lot of time in the studio this week. Instead, I’ve taken up residence in my new office-in-progress (downstair and boot-accessible), where I’ve actually done a fair amount of photo work, administrative minutiae, research, and computer clean-up. At least I’m being somewhat productive. But this boot can’t come off my foot soon enough.

As proof, I offer this:

American cockroach - ???? ???????
This is not the actual bug I discovered moseying up the sheers in my living room, but it was identically revolting and skin-crawling-inducing. Had I not been incapacitated by the walking boot, I would immediately have launched into my version of The Dance of HorrorTM worthy of the outtake reel from So You Think You Can Dance? Instead, I was reduced to calling my poor long-suffering husband on the phone and breathlessly relaying to him the horrifying news that there was a BUG on the CURTAINS in the LIVING ROOM! After assuring him that my near hysteria was not, in fact, a request for him to come home to deal with this emergency, I proceeded to give him play by play commentary on the path of the bug up the curtains, my attempts to get the vacuum cleaner into the living room while hampered by both a phone and a walking boot, my trepidation at getting within jumping distance of the bug (its jumping, not mine), and my difficulty in plugging in the vacuum without electrocuting myself because I refused to actually take my eyes off the interloper.

Weapon readied, I sidled closer to the window… at which point the bug fell off the curtain and onto the floor. Screaming (which set off all the dogs), I used my elbow to turn on the vacuum (because I didn’t want to drop the phone – duh) while I brandished the extension wand at the creature. The sound and thump it made traveling up the hose was so disgusting that I dropped the wand and screamed again and jumped up in the air, forgetting I was wearing The Boot. My landing was less than graceful – I staggered, nearly knocking over the entire side table next to the sofa. The resulting adrenaline rush left me nauseous for nearly 10 minutes.

So… The Boot needs to go and I need to get on with my life in the studio. Here’s hoping that’s soon!!

3 replies
  1. Juli
    Juli says:

    Thank you for the blog…I had to have a diversion from the mountain of work facing me today so I thought I will have a glass of tea and check FB. I was laughing so hard my co-workers had to know what was so funny so in no time the whole office was in an uproar. SO, thanks for the much needed comic-relief! Miss you so much!

    Reply

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